I have been such a bad friend to myself lately, totally dissing myself by saying things like “you are such a looser, why can’t you get it together? My behavior is no better, I constantly eat the wrong foods and find excuses not to exercise, then I get upset with myself when something doesn't fit and get depressed shopping for bigger clothes. I obsess about my past failures and relationships, and I mistrust any new person who tries to be my friend. I don't act friendly to people who don't totally agree with everything I say, then I keep up this put down in my head about why I don't like the person. Like, "Look at them. They are so lame, ghetto, rude, etc."…
Do I need a therapist? Perhaps! Prayer? Certainly! However, I do know one thing for sure; I am not alone. The world is full of positive, optimistic people who seem to have it all together, and their positive light bulb is on all day. Then there are the gloomy dim bulbs who mope around all day in a bad mood, finding fault with everything and everybody.
Ok lets, just say that hurt people not only hurt people, they hurt the world. Their negative energy can prevent the energy and synergy that is required to develop a positive flow that promotes creativity. That's why the crabs all stay in the barrel because they keep pulling each other down. Do positive people find skittles and rainbows around every corner? Not! But what they can do is at least reason their way out of negative situations and develop a positive way to improve their moods and lives.
Suddenly, it dawns on me, and after much reflection, prayer,and a small dose of Dr. Oz's wisdom, I realize sometimes the only thing that needs to change is you. How you manage and deal with your life is important. You want a better life? No one can change it but you. Get organized. Throw out the clutter in your mind and your life. Develop a great plan or plan on consistent failure and disappointment. Include in the plan ways to develop a good mix or self confidence, self respect and self esteem. Also do unto others as you would have them do unto you (and don't expect anything in return). Stay optimistic and keep on the sunny side of life. Drop the attitude. Yes you can be fierce and independent but let go of the “Diva-tude.” Every Sista is not a Diva and we shouldn't try to groom our little girls to be ones either.
Lets get ready for a new season. Keep positive, spiritual and spirit filled people in your life. This way when you don't believe in yourself they will remind you that they believe in you. So here is the next challenge. Get in the mirror with your positive affirmation each day if necessary and read it out loud, until your family thinks you've gone nuts!!!
Dear Me,
I love you, I am a young mother trying to raise a beautiful child. I am a good strong and positive person, one who is worthy of all of the wonderful things this world has to offer. I can do all things through the help of the Creator who gives me Hope, Joy, and my Strength.
Written by Marcia Lynn Berry
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Accidents Happen, Mistakes Will Be Made
Hello Parents!
It was a hectic Wednesday morning. I was running late. I went to get a bagel out of the refrigerator, and my 8 month old decided he wanted to hang out in the refrigerator. I had already moved him several times and didn't have time to worry about it, so I figure I'd let him just hang out there for awhile. My husband must not have liked that idea because he picked him up and closed the refrigerator door. The baby was crying, but we thought it was because he wanted to stay in the fridge. Shortly after, my middle son realized he was bleeding. Blood was everywhere. He had cut his finger while getting pulled out of the refrigerator. I rushed to get him to the hospital because he was bleeding too much. I wasn't sure if he was going to need stitches. As I pulled up to the emergency room I became a little nervous. I started thinking about the doctors he would see, the questions they would ask and if a social worker would get involved. I thought about how I would answer the question and how I would explain that my baby had hurt himself in the refrigerator.
I am in the social work field. I am nowhere near an unfit mother. Children services has no reason at all to enter my home or question my lifestyle and parenting, but unfortunately we live in a society that has allowed the justice system to interfere with our households. We are unable to raise our children the way we want because of county involvement and threats. The children are well aware of this. It is no longer safe to make a mistake or have an accident happen with your child. You're automatically accused of child endangerment.
I tell you this story for one reason and one reason only...ACCIDENTS HAPPEN, MISTAKES WILL BE MADE! I don't care who you are, there is no way that you can prevent your child from having an accident or guarantee that you will not make a mistake as a parent. There is no manual for this thing called parenting. Yes there are many books, but no book can write your experience and the circumstances surrounding your entire life and your reality when it comes to your child. With this in mind, DO NOT allow people to take your authority or rights as a parent. Yes, you may have made a mistake; an accident may have happened while your child was in your care, but that does not revoke your rights as a parent. Take your house back!
With love,
Shades
It was a hectic Wednesday morning. I was running late. I went to get a bagel out of the refrigerator, and my 8 month old decided he wanted to hang out in the refrigerator. I had already moved him several times and didn't have time to worry about it, so I figure I'd let him just hang out there for awhile. My husband must not have liked that idea because he picked him up and closed the refrigerator door. The baby was crying, but we thought it was because he wanted to stay in the fridge. Shortly after, my middle son realized he was bleeding. Blood was everywhere. He had cut his finger while getting pulled out of the refrigerator. I rushed to get him to the hospital because he was bleeding too much. I wasn't sure if he was going to need stitches. As I pulled up to the emergency room I became a little nervous. I started thinking about the doctors he would see, the questions they would ask and if a social worker would get involved. I thought about how I would answer the question and how I would explain that my baby had hurt himself in the refrigerator.
I am in the social work field. I am nowhere near an unfit mother. Children services has no reason at all to enter my home or question my lifestyle and parenting, but unfortunately we live in a society that has allowed the justice system to interfere with our households. We are unable to raise our children the way we want because of county involvement and threats. The children are well aware of this. It is no longer safe to make a mistake or have an accident happen with your child. You're automatically accused of child endangerment.
I tell you this story for one reason and one reason only...ACCIDENTS HAPPEN, MISTAKES WILL BE MADE! I don't care who you are, there is no way that you can prevent your child from having an accident or guarantee that you will not make a mistake as a parent. There is no manual for this thing called parenting. Yes there are many books, but no book can write your experience and the circumstances surrounding your entire life and your reality when it comes to your child. With this in mind, DO NOT allow people to take your authority or rights as a parent. Yes, you may have made a mistake; an accident may have happened while your child was in your care, but that does not revoke your rights as a parent. Take your house back!
With love,
Shades
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